Having a Nanny: Why You Should Get Rid of That Mom Guilt

A newborn nanny’s tasks can be done by the parents, but a parent’s responsibilities cannot fully be taken over by a nanny.

What a nanny does for your child is just the tip of an iceberg of the impact you will have on your baby’s life.

While a nanny’s daily duties may overlap with that of a parent’s, remember that you as the parent still holds the highest responsibility of bringing up and raising your child.

“So, is a caretaker’s job different than yours as the parent? How?”

To answer the latter question; greatly.

Sure, a nanny will do A LOT. They extensively relieve your burden or at least share the load on your shoulder in taking care of your child(ren).

They will perform the day-to-day routine such as changing their diapers, bathing and feeding them, as well as putting them to sleep.

Of course, as a parent, you should know how to do these as well. But the responsibility of parents goes beyond that.

First, parenting is not simply a job you can quit from – unlike a nanny. It is a lifetime process of raising and building up a person by instilling good values in them, primarily through example.

Secondly, almost everything done by the nanny can also be done by you – the parent.

Bathing, changing their clothes and diapers, feeding them, putting them to sleep and the list goes on.

Technically, you can do all these too, you are just occupied with trying to make a living for your little one. And more importantly, not changing your baby’s diapers throughout the day does not make you less of a parent than the next person, just like how constantly changing your baby’s diapers does not make your nanny or mother-in-law their parent.

“Does this mean it is always better for parents to fully parent the child, rather than having a nanny?”

Not necessarily. In this age, a lot of households have both parents who work full-time. This means that a lot of them will not be able to be at home for about 8 hours a day – often not by choice. If given the choice, most parents would want to be able to juggle both perfectly without having to ‘catch up’ on their own kids.

If you are one of these working parents, do not feel guilty about it. Whether you are a stay-at-home parent or working-full-time parent, you both are working towards achieving the same goal for your child; to provide the best life for them.

So yes, while you may not be able to do many things that your nanny does – such as changing your baby’s diapers and bathing them, you are still the parent.

You still hold the highest rank in terms of who can build up the kind of person they will be in the future. Do keep this in mind when you feel like and

Overcoming the Guilt

The stress of leaving your little one to childcare can be conflicting and make you feel guilty, but just know that you are doing the best that someone in your position can do, and hence that is also the best for your child.

All in all, all you have to do is maintain a good relationship with the nanny who is taking care of your child.

Children can sense bad relationships just as much as they can be influenced by happy relationships around them.

Communicate with the nanny to make sure all matters are clear between you two and focus on creating a healthy and happy environment for your little one.
Closing words
Remember, you are still the mother of your child and that is a place nobody else can take over. Let go of that mom guilt, it is not doing you any favour.

Focus on yourself as much as you focus and worry about your baby. At the end of the day, a happy mommy is what makes a happy child!

Should you want a little assistance on your journey and you don’t want to trouble your mother or mother-in-law, you could consider hiring a Chinese confinement lady as we have mentioned earlier.

Swing by our homepage to look through our confinement nanny package offerings and add-ons or read up on confinement nannies Singapore mummies trust on our testimonials page.

You May Also Read this : Why Your Family Will Thank You for Hiring a Confinement Nanny


  • PEM Confinement Nanny Agency

    We are a group of frontliners and support team members who are passionate about sharing our knowledge and experience in confinement care. Representing the largest confinement nanny agency in Singapore which has served over 250,000 mothers in over 30 years, we are all about sharing useful and insightful information based on our experience to help new parents navigate this exciting chapter of their life better.